And so it all clicked

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”

George Bernard Shaw

 

My job has always been important to me. I‘m not necessarily a career oriented woman but I like to work, I like responsibility and I like people. I’ve been working for multinational companies in the past decade and so far it was pretty cool. I had various senior mentors, who helped me grow, I met wonderful professionals and made everlasting friendships. I get a great deal of motivation from seeing juniors grow under my leadership, I like to get things done together as team, working towards the same goal. It’s challenging and encouraging. But I have to be honest, I got tired. A decade made me ignorant and made me want to run away from what one might call ‘corporate bullshit.’ And if I want to be brutally honest with you and with myself, a child was supposed to be my ticket out. I could have taken a break from this and figure myself out while on maternity. But Karma is always at its best… Karma wouldn’t let me have the easy way out. So I had to resolve the situation in my professional life, because I had to admit to myself that it was far from satisfactory. My daily job required very little supervision and basically, I was done with my daily job in two hours. My motivated self would have used the rest of the time to look for new challenges, but my demotivated self looked for new challenges outside. I updated my CV and my LinkedIn profile and started to look for opportunities.

Jobs you may be interested in (according to LinkedIn):

Senior Program and Project Delivery Specialist

Director – Digital Operations

Transformation Manager

Business Operation Consultant

Ah….all those big words! “Senior,” “Digital,” “Transformation”… empty. They all sound shiny and sparkling, and there is a slight chance that they would be better than my current position, but probably in a few months I would understand the system and be bored and demotivated again and sink back into despair. Moreover, they would not buy me my own horse and would not allow me to set up my own schedule. I had to think of something else… I left the topic hanging for a few weeks until I saw a posting on Facebook. A friend of a friend was looking for someone to join their startup team. Of course, a startup! A startup that is developing an AI based cancer diagnosing software. It sounded super exciting!  Being part of something big, a real life changer! So I called the guy and we agreed to meet.  We talked for almost two hours. By the end of the second hour, I could already see myself in PR, Marketing, Account Management– or all the three and even more. I met the team– doctors, biologists, scientists, developers– everyone smart, kind, motivated and in love with the product. It was the exact opposite of what I’m used to. I fell in love with the idea of joining this environment. And then I thought it through… it would have been a lie that I’m able to fully commit to them. I was already half committed to maternity. Me joining their team and maybe getting pregnant after a few months would have been a huge bummer – both for them and for me. It was simply not the time for that adventure.

As you can see, the idea does not just pop out of the blue, it’s a long process where you try different things and you’re actively working on a change. I already knew that I wanted to have my own horse again, that I wanted to be able to organize my own schedule and that I had to move out of the world of multinationals… and all at once when I pulled my thoughts together, I connected the dots to find myself searching for a piece of functional clothing that I was not able to find in the whole wide world. That’s it! I should design it myself! It was like a thunder strike– you know the feeling when you have this flash and you go numb because you are afraid that you will lose the though and will not be able to recall it? I was sitting there on the couch, drinking wine alone and in one second, I went from desperation to excitement. I put down the glass, took a pen and a paper and started to draft the idea. Then I started to soar… and the ideas just kept coming. By midnight I had a business plan draft for 1-3-5-10 years. And that’s when I texted Husband, “I figured it out! I will launch my own company!”

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